I’m totally fat shaming…myself

Once upon a time, I was blessed with amazing genes that didn’t require me to work out or watched what I ate. In fact, I bragged about the fact that I’d never stepped foot into a gym but went out for fried ice cream at least 2-3 times a week. O.M.G. Those were the days.

Well who knew that at 16 my metabolism was already middle aged? Because once I hit 25, it died. Like, literally just died and I had no idea it was dying until the effects of its decomp were already wreaking havoc on my still living self. And it just happened. I’ll never forget that what the fucking fuck feeling I had when I couldn’t get my favorite jeans up…it’ll haunt me forever. And so I became just another number in the great obesity epidemic.

A self-portrait

Over the years, I’ve joined gyms and I don’t think there’s anything I sucked at more than trying to work out. So I really just wasted a whole lot of money (which I REALLY hate doing). And over the years I just got fatter which was, again, terrible. I considered myself lucky that I only gained 10lbs during my pregnancy, but then I was 10lbs heavier than I was before I got knocked up and just yikes.

So last year I finally got my ish together and joined Orange Theory Fitness which I LOVE! Like, I’m totally addicted to it now. And I dropped 10lbs by doing one month of a modified Whole 30 diet. It sucked at first, but by the end of the 30 days it had become a way of life and I felt great. Totally healthier. Then the holidays came and we know how that story goes. So now, 6 months later, I’m going to try it again. And because positivity just doesn’t work for me, I’m taking a different route. I found this shirt, and I’m kind of obsessed with it and all of its assholeness.

I wish it came in more colors because I feel like I should have one for every day of the week. I’m thinking that if I wear this shirt, every day, then it’ll remind me to not eat like a cow at a trough (do cows eat at troughs?). Because even though our society currently thinks that it’s empowering and cool and fabulous to embrace the morbidly obese, I’m telling you that it’s not.

As someone who is technically considered obese, I can tell you that it’s unhealthy, unattractive, and entirely UN-fabulous. And in case you don’t believe me when I tell you that I have joined the ranks of the great overweights, I have proof in the form of an obesity analysis. This one was done in October 2015 before I lost 10lbs. Now, that black line is juuuust over the normal range of 25 (26.6 to be precise) and it needs to be well below. I’m shooting for 20s all around – BMI and PBF. That’s a nice, round number.

See? There it is, ON PAPER! 

Also, I’m hoping this blog should give me some accountability. Hopefully.

PS. Another reason why losing weight is super important. Us fatties just look sloppy in yoga pants.


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